That’s what I’m doing today – just hangin’ in there. A visit with the doctor yesterday brought the unwelcome news that the Leukemia has broken out of remission and is very aggressive. So I’m back in the hospital today and receiving more chemo and various other things designed to fight this ugly disease. My odds are not good, but they never were.
After the transplant, I seemed to be doing very well with a few minor bumps in the road and I thought I was on my way. Now it seems we are back to page one. It’s not that the transplant failed, it’s that the immune system isn’t strong enough yet to fight the Leukemia which decided to pop back into the picture. The next few days will likely give us an idea of what to expect. Currently, it appears that this disease is going to win the battle and my time is limited. So, I’m hangin’ in there praying for a miracle.
I do believe in miracles and would welcome one right now. Just a little more time would be nice. It’s not that I’m afraid of dying and I look forward to the wonders that await me – seeing my Lord, Jesus; being reunited with my sweet husband who has been gone for almost nine years; as well as freedom from the restraints and problems of this world – no more tears, no more pain . . . just peace and joy. But when death is staring you in the face, it’s a little scary and seems much too soon. Isn’t it kinda funny that even though we know that everyone (including ourselves) will die – it’s part of life- we are so not ready when it comes.
Anyway, for now, please pray with me for a miracle . . . Lord, I know that you have a plan and it’s always the right plan, the right time, and not always in agreement with our plan and our timing. But we have to trust that you know what is best for us and for our family. I’m praying for a miracle, Lord, because I would like to live longer, to spend more time with family, to serve you in the church and in the world, to exemplify what faith can accomplish. Thank you for this day, for yesterday, and for tomorrow.